A Confused Message of Love for You the Listener
(my very own personal agenda of contradiction)

It's 4:30am and I'm sitting in the Portland International Airport and I've been thinking about the task at hand-writing something about my lovely, dark, dank story that turned into the beast that is COLONEL JEFFREY PUMPERNICKEL - A CONCEPT ALBUM. I've borrowed a pen from a local and she seems a little pissed. Here's as good a place to start as any: My name is Chris Slusarenko and I always thought it would be interesting to listen to an album where different bands tell parts of a larger story a concept album in reverse. After years of thinking about it I decided to do it. I wrote the premise for the story, then farmed out the chapters to various musical "war-horses" as well as the visually misunderstood. - The end result was to create original materials based on that the chapters of the Colonel's life/lives: Hallucinations due to severe allergies, underwater fire battles, great debates of the days (fur vs. metal), lasting hopes for love… It's all here.
    Now I know there will be some of you out there who will want more information and it seems that this website might be a good place to confuse you as well as inform you. Hell, if I could spend my fifteenth year of life dissecting MARK OF THE MOLE by the Residents then I figured the general public could too. And wasn't ZEN ARCADE supposedly a concept album too? (if you know what the hell was going on in that one I want a full report on my desk by sunrise). All I had to go on was a gatefold sleeve, some lyrics and some great visuals. I just want to let you know that if it takes you a while to figure out who Silent Friend is or if you can almost put together the puzzle that is dr. mom that is ok. You're doing fine-you're right where I want you.

Time to walk home,
Chris Slusarenko